“If your dream is to be mentally wrecked and professionally robbed — this is your heaven. - Anonymous employee Escape Velocity Employee Review

Let’s not call this a company. Let’s call it what it is: A glorified scam run by three people who confuse ego with leadership and manipulation with management. The owner — a man so painfully unaware, it’s honestly a miracle he finds the office every morning. Blind to every scam happening under his nose, constantly being played like a toddler with shiny toys. If ignorance was a skill, this man would be the CEO of the century. Now let’s talk about the National Head (earlier Regional, now magically upgraded because of some behind-the-scenes networking that smells worse than their office pantry). This woman does NOTHING. Capital N. Nothing. She shows up once every two months, floats around like she's running NASA, and disappears with the credit for every damn thing. Her only job? Be seen, not work. Her only talent? Playing dumb upwards and bossy downwards. But wait, she’s not alone. Her loyal puppy — the mid-level puppet — sits quietly, collects everyone else’s hard work, and serves it to her on a platter. And what does she do? She takes it, smiles, and forwards it to the founder like: “Sir, I’ve been working really hard.” 😂😂😂 Bro... the only thing she’s worked hard on is surviving with 0 brain cells, 0 output, and 100% audacity. And this trio? Oh, they think they’re running a company. What they’re actually running is: A new hire massacre every 8 months A blame-shifting olympics A masterclass in gaslighting And the world’s most boring, fake power play Here’s the actual business model: Hire someone talented Suck every last ounce of energy from them Take credit Backstab Force resignation Act shocked on team call: “Oh no! They’re leaving?” Repeat. Let’s be clear: The woman who now calls herself “National Head” is a walking HR violation with 0 strategy, 0 empathy, and possibly 0 soul. If entitlement had a LinkedIn profile — it would be her. And the boss? Still blind. Still vibing. Still out here thinking “loyalty” means being played by the same two people for 5 years straight. 🚫 Final Advice: If you: Believe in logic Respect your mental health Like being paid for actual work Prefer not being used as a pawn in someone’s twisted promotion game STAY. FAR. AWAY. This place won’t grow you. It will gaslight you, break you, and then frame it like “you just couldn’t handle the pressure.” Truth is — the only pressure here is surviving people whose resumes should’ve ended at “knows how to forward emails.” Apply here only if your kink is being underpaid, undervalued, and over-exploited by people who can’t spell “strategy” without Google. Good luck. Or better — RUN. 🏃‍♀️💨