I don't think it's going to be easy to put my 2 month long interview experience into words. It was both emotionally and mentally challenging. At first, it did seem like the purpose of the interview process was to determine if my candidacy would be a good fit, but then things took a turn. After completing the process and taking time to reflect, the turn felt like the purpose had shifted to "throwing me off the mechanical bull". I was put first through a technical conversation, and was given great feedback by the interviewer. From there, I was given over 15 hours worth of technical assessments (two technical assessments total, one of which I had never even received feedback for and seemed to have been tossed to the side). The other was essentially an unpaid project. The feedback portrayed by my point of contact was that I did so-so on the second project. However the feedback given to my face in the next interview was that I did great on that same second project. In that next interview, I was given even more technical questions, to drill even further into the work that I had done. It seemed that the goal was to find a point of weakness and figure out enough of what I didn't know to be able to justify disqualification, which to me is not a fair approach. In the end, the feedback that my point of contact had to give me from the hiring manager that I spoke with throughout the process was that I did not have the basic skills needed for the role. I am okay with constructive criticism, but if I didn't have the basic skills needed, why not stop my candidacy after the first technical conversation? Why tell me that I did great on the technical assessment? If I supposedly did great, I must have the basic skills, right?
That goes into my big point. I was being given contradictory feedback throughout my experience. That in of itself is the definition of gaslighting. Which feedback am I supposed to accept when none of the feedback and implicit signals like moving me forward match up?
What's even more interesting is that my experience did not start with the mentioned gaslighting. As I mentioned above it started favorably. But that is also what manipulation inherently is. Make a favorable first impression to then gain the trust and time of someone to be able to emotionally manipulate later on.
I haven't ended the interview process slightly dismayed and ready to look at my other opportunities. I have ended the interview process with a broken sense of trust and emotional damage that I am now looking to seek counseling for. In the 6+ years of being in the workforce, I have never had an experience as detrimental as the one I had at Array
