Patchwork’s “top team” is the leadership equivalent of the house wine at a suburban Indian restaurant. Their breathtaking levels of caprice, confusion, and incompetence are masked behind the tired refrain: “Ahh, but we’re a startup…” No. You’re nearly a decade in, and it’s long past time to grow up. This is what happens when you let two inexperienced doctors and a maniacal dentist play at CEO — a dysfunctional trio locked in mutual disdain, united only by their shared contempt for the people they employ. Eventually, their PE backers will recognise this for what it is: a costly mistake built on ego, not execution.